Name: Craig A. Lutke (a.k.a. The Demented Bastard That Keeps coming up with this crap!) Birthdate: 9-8-71 Reason you joined the Stunt Show: Someone walked up to me one day and said, "Hey". I said "Hey" back. They said, "What ya doing?". I said "Nuthin'". They said, "Cool". I said, "yeah", and the story kind of digresses from there. How many grueling hours has Craig made you work on the show?: The real question is not how many hours you've had to work on the show, it's how many friggin' miles you had to drive to work those hours and how many Mondays you wake up in a puddle of drool with keyboard marks on your face. Favorite Stunt: All of 'em except the damned zipline. That's for people who weigh a few cheeseburgers less that I do. What advice would you give someone playing your part?: Find a good accountant, save your receipts for the tax audit, laugh in the face of stupidity, …. and grow some facial hair, ya girly-man. Favorite line from any of the shows:You can never get tired of hearing "Yohko? Oh, No!" Been there, said that, got the T-shirt. (available on the Dragon's Horde page. Why aren't you there buying one?) Wait, wait, I changed my mind. It's the old "I fell off a ladder" line we always tell the Emergency Room when they ask us what happened. Favorite fight partner in a show: After all this time, it's still Evan and Terrie. Good timing, anticipation, and chemistry can never be underestimated in a stage combat fight. Favorite character from a movie: Are you kidding me? It's Ash, baby! "You see this? This… is my BOOM stick!" "Hail to the king, baby." "You probably were born in a barn with all the other primatives." Truly great characters never die, they make sequels... and we're still waiting for that next Evil Dead sequel. Favorite food: Sugar-coated, deep fat fried lard balls, a side order of gravy fries, and some nacho cheese flavored chocolate milk. If you were stranded on a desert island with 1 other person, who would you prefer to be with?: Pablo Neruda, just because it's a fun name to say and I could amuse myself be yelling "Hey Pablo Neruda!" across the island all the time. No, really: I'd make sure Terrie was there. That way we could make sand forts and rig seige engines to sling coconuts at each other from across the island. Then we can rub the coconut oil all over each other and... If you could bring one luxury item, like in "Survivor", what would you bring?: A fully functional pyrotechnic system, so I could scare the crap out of the local fauna. If you could have the power of 1 superhero, what would it be?: Superhero? Oh no. Supervillain? Now we're talking. How 'bout combining the powers of the Joker and Snidely Whiplash. Not so much that they have superpowers, but I would be really freaky to look at with that pasty face, permanent smile, top hat, and huge curly mustaches. If you were going to play a superhero in a movie, who would you want to be directed by?: I don't care who's directing it as long as they have a big friggin' budget! If you could kick one person's butt on the planet and get away with it, who would it be?: My sister's ex-husband. That sumbitch needs to have his soft n' squeezies grabbed and stretched across a major interstate. Is that a tanker truck I see coming? Words to live by: You can never have enough cheese in your life, so just accept it. Acting/Technical experience:Let me es'plain. No, that would take too long. Let me jus' sum up: Many plays, many ren-faires, many years of fight directing. 6 proud years of putting on the Dragon Attack Stunt Show Don't forget The Bilge Pumps! But how could you do that? Before I die, I want to: Utter my famous last words.... "Whoops!". Any extra tidbits you want to offer: Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton. Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of hay.

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