1999 Dragon Attack Stunt Show - Hawkwood Fantasy Faire
Show 1 - The Agony

Written by Craig Lutke
1999 Ibidis Mortem Productions





(The pre-show winds down as Clangedon and Dumatheon Steelshaper conclude telling the crowd, in their own way, about the principal characters of the show and what the Old Gate is for)

(Keepa emerges during Clangedon and Dumatheon's dialogue and lays down on the edge of the well, apparently asleep)

(As Clangedon and Dumatheon finish, Crash and Plushing enter from section B. Plushing holds what appears to be a magical device in his hand.)

(They walk forward to take position in center stage, section D)

Crash:

C'mon Lord Plushing, lemme just have a look at it.

Plushing:

I most certainly will not! Do you remember the last time you touched a magical device? It took us a week to convince you weren't a monkey. (Plushing turns to stare intently at Crash, who is scratching himself like a monkey)

I'm not entirely sure we were successful.

Crash:

Now see here, I'm Crash, hero of renown throughout the forest. I think I can handle one little object. You said yourself earlier you didn't think it was really magical anyway.

Plushing:

Well, magical or not, I'm certainly not going to let you be the one to find out.

(Crash reaches for the object in Plushing's hand.)

Crash:

C'mon, lemme take a look. I'm only trying to protect you, you know.

(The two struggle for the object, and Crash accidentally knocks it out of Plushing's hand. The object flies through the air and lands at the back right corner of section D.)

(As soon as it lands on the ground, an explosion goes off)

(Concussion Bomb mounted in section K.)

(The explosion causes both Plushing and Crash to clutch each other in fear.)

(Keepa, startled awake by the explosion, gives a start and then loses her balance on the edge, falling into the well.)

(Well Water Splash)

(Sound of Well Water Splash)

(Plushing and Crash)

(From the scout tower in section G, Port emerges, walking towards Section D.)

Port:

All right, all right. What in Hades is going on here? Can't a man get any sleep anymore? Do you realize how hard it is to guard a gate that is never used? Well it's not easy, I'll tell ya.

(Reaches Section D and stares at the two intently. Keepa has half emerged from the well.)

 

 

Port:

Now, which one of you is trying to blow up my gate?

Plushing and Crash:

(Pointing at Keepa)

Keepa did!

Keepa:

(Spitting water out of her mouth)

What?!? Now you listen here...

(Keepa releases her grip on the wall and points towards Plushing and Crash, causing her to lose her grip on the wall and fall back into the well)

(Well Water Splash)

(Sound of Well Water Splash)

Plushing:

(To Crash)

Now look at what you've done!

Crash:

Me? It's not my fault Keepa's not that bright.

Keepa:

(From well)

Uh, guys? Someone want to give me a hand?

Plushing:

Oh, don't weep-a, Keepa, you creep-a.

Port:

Yes, don't sleep-a in the deep-a, Keepa.

Crash:

Yeah, eat a beet-a.

(Port and Plushing just stare at Crash)

Port:

Just who are you again?

Crash:

(Puffing himself up)

Why, I'm Crash.

Port:

Crash who?

Crash:

Crash of the Titans.

 

Keepa:

(From well)

Uh, guys? There's something moving down here!

Crash:

(Bouncing over to the well)

Don't worry Keepa, I'll get you out of there.

Keepa:

(From well)

Uh, can anyone else help me?

Port:

(Shoving Crash aside)

Here, step aside hero, before you hurt someone.

(Plushing takes the obviously distraught Crash and guides him back to section D.)

Plushing:

Don't worry about it, Crash. I'm sure he just thought such a task was beneath someone of your...stature.

Crash:

Yes, that's probably it.

Port:

(Pulling Keepa from the well)

What are you two doing here anyway?

Plushing:

Ah, now that's a good question. Now, as you know, I'm quite versed in the scuttlebutt lurking around the underground grapevine. My ear is tuned to the whispers of rumor floating through the forest and the dire portents they convey. My resources are plugged into the...

Port:

Uh, Plushing?

Plushing:

Oh yes, sorry. Where was I? Oh yes, I have heard, through my network of sources..

Keepa:

The guys at the pub.

Plushing:

(Glaring at Keepa)

...that the dragonmen of the river have begun to stir. Apparently in preparation for attack on Hawkwood. Since this barred gate is the first only line of defense between us and the vile, vicious dragonmen of the river, I came here straightaway with a weapon of immense magical power to help guard us against the dragonmen and their new leader. I wanted to give it to you, Port, since you're the gatekeeper here and you'll probably need it.

Port:

So where is this magical device that will save us?

 

Crash:

Uh, I think we've already used it.

Keepa:

Well that's just great. If they're really going to attack, we need to do something to stop them.

Port:

Looks like we don't have a choice. We'll have to call in the Hawkwood Militia.

(Plushing, Keepa, and Crash look at each other and break into laughter)

Port:

Hey, I'm serious. I had a very capable man volunteer the other day to lead the militia. I'm sure he did a great job. He owns all the land around here.

Plushing:

Oh, you don't mean Gareth, do you?

Port:

So you know him.

(Plushing, Keepa, and Crash all break into laughter again)

Plushing:

Of course I know him. He's insufferable. There's no way the militia would follow him for long.

Port:

Well, I'll give the call to arms for the troops and we'll just find out.

(The others' laughter dies down as Port gives the call)

Blaze:

(From shop in Section A.)

Ooh, ooh, I want to be part of the militia!

Port:

Well you can't. You're supposed to be selling things aren't you?

Blaze:

Man, I never get to have any fun. (Resumes selling banners)

(Enter Gareth from behind the tower in Section A.)

Gareth:

Lord Gareth MacTehner, captain of the Hawkwood militia reporting!

(Gareth comes to a stop in section C)

Port:

Where's the militia?

Gareth:

You're lookin' at it.

 

Port:

What?!? You were in charge of 50 men. Where did they all go?

Gareth:

It appears they had a problem with my au-thor-a-ty.

(Plushing, Keepa, and Crash begin laughing again)

Blaze:

See? You should have put me in charge.

Port:

I don't have time for this, I have to get the gate ready for battle.

(Port moves to the ladder in Section C and ascends to the platform, moving to section J to peer over the wall)

Gareth:

What are you three meatballs laughing at?

(Crash, Plushing and Keepa continue to laugh)

Gareth:

All right, that's it! I will not be laughed at by a bunch of haggis for brains like you.

(Gareth walks over to Section C and shoves Keepa out of his way in the direction of the well. He then clunks Crash on top of the head, dropping his helmet over his eyes)

(Plushing, Gareth, and Crash get involved in a 3-way fistfight)

(While the fight ensues, Keepa leans up against the well, resting. The tentacle emerges from the well, and begins to slowly creep around the top edge of the well. Keepa notices as the fight draws to a close)

Keepa:

Uh, guys? Guys? Guys!

Plushing, Crash, and Gareth:

(Simultaneously. Still fighting)

What? What? What?!?

(Tentacle wraps around Keepa during this exchange)

Keepa:

You want to help me out with this?

(Tentacle yanks Keepa over the edge and into the well.)

{Well Fall})

(Well Splash)

(Sound of Well Water Splash)

Plushing:

Someone's got to go save her!

(Gareth and Crash look at each other and then gesture towards the well for Plushing)

 

Plushing:

Oh no. Not me. You go Gareth, you're a big guy..

Gareth:

What, and give the creature more meat to eat? I don't think so. Let Crash go, he thinks he's a hero, and he's wearing armor.

Crash:

Yeah, but I can't swim.

(Gareth, Plushing and Crash begin arguing amongst themselves. As they do,Keepa appears on from the top of the well with the tentacle wrapped around her. {She sits on another person's shoulders} She thrashes around gasping for help while the other three argue.)

(Sounds of well monster growling)

(Port finishes setting the fire for the boiling pitch and turns to see the scene below him. He moves over to section K and peers down into the well.)

(Smoke from under boiling pitch pot)

Port:

Keepa! Don't worry, I'm coming to save you!

(Port takes out dagger and jumps feet first into the well.)

{Well High Fall Drop})

(Well Splash)

(Sound of Well Water Splash)

(A loud fight occurs in the well. Water splashing and thumps and grunts of combat. Port pops head up for a minute then resumes combat below. Gareth, Crash and Plushing move from the front of Section D to the back corner of Section C.)

(Well monster tentacles thrash around for a bit then retract into the well.)

(Sound of well monster growling)

(A loud spitting sound is heard and Keepa gets launched from the well to land in section D.

{Well Launch & Lift})

(Sound of well monster spitting)

(Port half emerges from the well and looks around. A tentacle rises from behind him.)

Crash:

Look out behind you!

(Port turns and angrily beats the tentacle back into the well, a whining yelping comes from inside)

(Sound of well monster yelping)

Port:

(Climbing out of the well)

Where were you three?

 

(Gareth, Plushing, and Crash all begin to point to and describe various ailments that prevented them from helping)

Keepa:

(Standing back up)

What hit me?

Port:

I'm sorry about that Keepa, I should have warned you about the monster in the well.

Plushing:

How in the world are we supposed to defend the village from the monsters on the outside when we have monsters on the inside as well?

Port:

Oh, I wouldn't worry about him,

(pointing at Crash) he's really pretty harmless.

Plushing:

Not Crash! I'm talking about the monster in the well.

Port:

Oh that. Just don't go near the well, you'll be all right.

(Sound of stomping and trees shaking. Crash gives a little jump and rattles his armor)

(Sound of dragon stomp)

Plushing:

What was that?

Gareth:

What was what? The only thing I hear is Crash clanking around.

Crash:

I'll have you know this is high quality armor...

(Second stomping sound and closer tree shaking. Crash gives another little jump, rattling his armor)

(Sound of dragon stomp)

Gareth:

See? There you go again.

(Grabs Crash by the armor and pulls him into his face) Now stop making all that racket!

(All characters except for Crash are facing towards the audience. Crash faces towards Gareth and the wall behind him)

(Dragon raises over the back wall in section J, swinging it's head around and putting it's claw to it's mouth in a "shh" sign.)

Crash:

It's not me, I'm telling you. It's...it's...

 

Gareth:

(Shaking Crash)

What? It's what?

Crash:

(Pulling free of Gareth)

A d...d....d...

Plushing:

A dipstick.

Port:

A duck.

Keepa:

A dependable mechanic.

(Crash stops and glares at Keepa)

Plushing:

(to Keepa)

Oh now you're not even trying.

(Gareth releases Crash, who resumes his stuttering, this time making large jaws with his arms and gnashing them together)

(Dragon begins to descend behind the wall.)

Gareth:

Ooh! I have it! A divorced woman looking for half the assets!

Port:

Now that's too scary to even think about.

Blaze:

It's a dragon you idiots!

All:

Dragon!?! Where?!?

Crash:

He was there! I'm telling you!

Port:

To your posts! We're under attack!

(The five defenders scatter to their respective posts.)

Blaze:

Can I help? I can take that dragon single-handedly.

Port:

No, you keep selling.

Blaze:

Man, I never get to have any fun. (Resumes selling banners)

 

(Plushing moves to man the boiling pitch in Section J. Gareth moves to the Scout Tower in Section G. Keepa moves to the tower in Section H. Port moves to near the tower in Section L. Crash moves to the bottom of the Scout Tower in Section G.)

Crash:

Do I get to get up in the scout tower this time?

Gareth:

No.

Crash:

C'mon. lemme go up.

Gareth:

No. You'll put your eye out. Now stay here.

(Points to a post at the bottom of the scout tower and ascends the ladder.)

(Crash takes up position leaning on the pole, facing away from center stage)

(Enter Retch from Section A and Snaarf from Section C approaching Section D.)

Snaarf:

He he. Hey Retch, wasn't that a great idea to use Ringo as a distraction for us to get inside the wall?

Retch:

Oh, most definitely. Master Sorcerer Jerricho is a genius all right.

Snaarf:

Look at those stupid humans on the walls. We could steal them blind right now and there's nothing they could do about it.

Retch:

Uh, weren't we supposed to wait here for the master to show up?

Snaarf:

Are you kidding me? Wait for the other dragonmen outside to get part of our plunder? I don't think so. It's time for a bloomer raid!

Jerricho:

(Offstage from section E)

Snaarf!!

Snaarf:

(Snapping to attention)

Yes, Master Jerricho!

Retch:

Oh, you are so in for it.

Snaarf:

Hey, shut up! Master Jerricho didn't see anything...

(Explosion sends Retch and Snaarf to the ground.)

(Explosion from Right side of tree in Section E. [Smoke and Report])

 

Snaarf:

All right, maybe he did.

(All defenders turn to see Snaarf and Retch in Section D, who lay sprawled out from the explosion.)

Plushing:

Oh my goodness, some dragonmen got inside the walls!

Port:

Let's get 'em, quick!

(Snaarf and Retch draw steel and stand back-to-back)

Snaarf:

You'll never take us alive, see?!

(Defenders start to move towards ladders/stairs to get back to the ground until explosions send them to the floor.)

(Explosions from near defenders' positions in Section J, Section L, Section H, and Section G [Smoke and Report in Section J] [Smoke and Flame in Sections L, H, and G])

Snaarf:

It's nice to have that happen to someone else for once.

Retch:

You said it, brother.

(Smoke issues from the side of the tower in Section H)

(Jerricho emerges through the smoke and slowly and dramatically makes his way to Section D.)

(Jerricho Entrance Music)

(Port and Keepa descend from their positions up high and sneak to the ladder in Section D.)

Crash:

Look, Gareth. Someone left the barn door open, we've got a goat wandering loose.

(Gareth hits Crash on the helmet with a rock or something from the scout tower)

Gareth:

That's not a goat, you walking dishwasher. Goats don't walk on two legs.

Crash:

They do if they're trying to get in the top cabinet.

Jerricho:

Snaarf, did I hear you trying to start the attack without my permission?

Snaarf:

Oh, that's just a little joke, Master Jerricho. I wouldn't dream of trying to...

Keepa:

Quick, Port, now's your chance to get to the weapons.

 

(Port makes a break for the weapon stand in Section B)

Jerricho:

Retch! Stop him.

Retch:

Yes, Master!

(Retch draws her hatchet and moves to stand in the front of section C. Port has made it to the weapons rack and has drawn a sword. He moves back towards the ladder and crosses the painted outline in the wall in Section B.)

Retch:

Hold it right there.

(Port freezes in place in the exact position of the outline, but two feet past it)

Retch:

Back up two steps.

Port:

(Backing up the requested distance and looking confused.)

Why?

Retch:

(Hefting hatchet)

No reason.

(Port sees the hatchet and turns to notice he is in the outline on the wall. He gives a yelp and dashes forward just as the hatchet strikes the outline.

{Hatchet Throw})

(Port reaches Keepa's position in section D.)

Port:

Go and get a weapon, Keepa. I'll cover you from Jerry over here.

Keepa:

Right!

(Keepa creeps through Section C.)

Jerricho:

The name is Jerricho, you ignorant human. Retch, stop that gatekeeper or it'll be wearing your hide as a coat!

Snaarf:

With your complexion? Really Master, that's just tacky.

(Jerricho silences Snaarf with a backhand to the belly)

Retch:

(Drawing 2 throwing knives)

No problem Master, this one's mine.

(Keepa sees Retch watching her and then sprints across the outline in Section B to the weapons rack. The knife thrown by Retch strikes the target behind her.

{Knife Throw} )

 

(Keepa grabs a weapon and then sprints back across the target zone with Retch's second knife sticking in the target behind her.

{Knife Throw} )

(Retch slaps her hand to her forehead in frustration. One second later, Jerricho and Snaarf do the same thing simultaneously.)

(Retch leans up against the well, bemoaning her lack of talent.)

Plushing:

Port! Keepa! You guys might want to hurry up. There are a whole lot of red-collared dragonmen on the other side of the gate and they're bringing their women folks, too.

Port:

C'mon Keepa, it's time to donate to Jerry's Kids!

Keepa:

Don't you mean kill the red-collared dragonmen?

Port:

No, I had it right the first time.

Snaarf:

Ha! You'll never beat us. Retch, let's kill these goody little two shoes.

Retch:

Oh yeah. Killin' time!

(Retch begins to move around the well towards Keepa, but is immediately attacked by the well monster who pins her to the side of the well.)

(Keepa, Port, and Plushing see this and break out into laughter.)

(Sound of well monster growling)

Snaarf:

Uh oh. Master, master! Quick, let's get out of here. The others are still outside and we'll never get them inside now. We're going to...

(Jerricho backhands Snaarf, sending him crashing through the gate.

{Jerk Line, Breakaway Gate}

After he crashes through, Snap, Heave, Hork, and Chomp come running through the remains of the gate amid a cloud of fog, which disguises Snaarf.)

(Smoke issues from broken gate opening.)

(Chomp and Heave move to stand across from Port on the other side of Jerricho.)

(Snap moves to stand across from Keepa near the gate.)

(Hork steps in and dashes across the stage to confront Crash in Section G.)

(Crash sees him coming and dashes behind a pole of the scout tower. Gareth climbs onto the ladder, attempting to descend.)

Jerricho:

Now, my dragonmen, lets....

 

(Hork gives a battle cry and begins to chase Crash around the scout tower.)

Gareth:

Hey, watch out. You're gonna tip over the ladder!

(Crash, chased by Hork, smashes into the ladder with a loud rattle and falls backwards into Hork, sending Hork stumbling backwards.)

(Gareth's balance on the ladder is disrupted and he falls backwards onto the pad, clinging to the ladder all along.

{Ladder Fall})

(Hork resumes the chase of Crash and forces Crash onto the ladder where the two of them sword fight, alternating who stands on Gareth.)

Gareth:

Hey... ooof... get... off....me.....

Jerricho:

(Bellowing loudly)

Hork! Did I say you could start fighting yet? Hmmmm?

(Snap, Chomp, and Heave begin snickering behind Jerricho. He turns to glare at them and the shut up, looking around the sky innocently.)

Hork:

(Snapping to attention)

No, master, you didn't.

Jerricho:

That's right, I didn't.

Blaze:

I heard you say it!

Jerricho:

Silence human! Now Hork, that'll teach you to wait for the order to attack.

(Straightens his clothing and takes a deep breath.)

Now attack.

(Sound of drums beating)

(Hork and Crash resume fighting in section G.)

(Chomp moves in to attack Port, who goes up the ladder, followed by Chomp.)

(Heave moves over to help Retch with the well monster.)

(Snap moves to attack Keepa and chases her around all sections of the stage floor.)

(Jerricho moves to the front of Section C, watching the fights)

Gareth:

(After pushing the ladder back up)

Plushing, I can hear more of them outside. Dump the boiling pitch on them, quick.

 

Plushing:

Right.

(Plushing struggles with the cauldron and Gareth moves across Section F to confront Jerricho.)

(Chomp and Port begin fighting in Section L.)

(Keepa and Snap's chase passes through Section F and the two of them stop and play touch and go around the front tree in Section E.)

(Gareth attacks Jerricho, but his weapon is taken and he is thrown back into Section D where Jerricho pursues.)

(Keepa dashes through the splash zone for the cauldron which Plushing accidentally spills backward onto the pursuing Snap.

{Boiling Pitch Dump})

(All fights stop momentarily to watch the steam.)

(Steam rises from behind Snap's body)

Plushing:

(Sniffing the air)

Smells like chicken.

Gareth:

(Lying on his back in front of Jerricho.)

You want to get down here and help?

Plushing:

Oh, right!

(Moves down the ladder to Section C.)

(Gareth regains his feet and reverses positions with Jerricho, his back now to Section C.)

(Heave manages to extract Retch from the well monster's tentacles, but Retch stumbles into Heave who falls backward towards Gareth. Gareth dives out of the way and Heave runs into Jerricho accidentally.)

(Jerricho gets angry and attacks Heave who tries to get away from him unsuccessfully)

(Keepa engages Retch in Section B.)

(Snaarf re-emerges from the gate in Section D and attacks Gareth.)

(Plushing dives out of the way as Jerricho throws Heave through the crash pole in Section C.

{Crash Pole Fall})

(Port and Chomp continue their fight along the entire back wall, moving to Section J.)

(Jerricho moves back to the center of Section D as Plushing assists Keepa with Retch.)

(Keepa ducks a blow from Retch and dashes towards Jerricho leading Retch, while Crash does the same thing with Hork.)

(The heroes cross in front of Jerricho while the dragonmen smash into him.)

 

(Jerricho, enraged, smashes the two of them together, knocking them out. Gareth, Snaarf, Port, and Chomp notice this and stop their fights while the defenders laugh)

(Sound of drums beating stops)

Snaarf:

Master, you're attacking your own men! What are you? Crazy?

Jerricho:

What did you call me?

All:

Uh oh.

Jerricho:

blastus skyhighus

(Explosion sends Snaarf to the ground by the tower in Section E. (Possible breakaway tables))

(Explosion from the tree at the back of Section E. [Flame and Report])

(Gareth laughs harder at Snaarf's fate, but trails off at a look from Jerricho.)

All:

Uh oh.

Jerricho:

Deflatus Big Ego-us.

(Explosion sends Gareth flying to the ground in back of Section E. (Possible breakaway tables))

(Explosion from back of tree at front of Section E. [Flame and Report])

(Port laughs hard at Gareth's fate until Jerricho turns to look at him.)

All:

Uh oh.

(As Jerricho turns to look at Port and Chomp and points his finger that way. Port begins to run and Chomp runs away from him towards Section L.)

Chomp:

Get away from me. Get back!

Plushing:

Quick, stop him!

(Plushing, Crash, and Keepa move in and grab Jerricho. Crash in a bear-hug from behind, Plushing and Keepa grab his shooting arm.)

(Jerricho continues to follow Port with his finger and Port and Chomp push and shove each other to get away from it ending up in Section L by the yardarm.)

(Keepa and Plushing twist Jerricho around where he faces the audience and his finger to where it's pointing at Crash's face. Crash tries to move back and forth to escape it.)

 

(Jerricho throws the others back and points towards Port and Chomp.)

Jerricho:

Igonnas Blowemupus

(Port shoves Chomp away and grabs the yardarm, swinging away from the explosion that sends Chomp into the shop.

{15' High Fall into Shop},

{Yard Arm Swing}

(Explosion from left side of Section M. [Flame and Report])

(Port swings back over and drops from the rope, landing in Section B.

{Yard Arm Dismount})

Blaze:

(Surveying the damaged shop)

So that's what they mean by falling overhead costs.

Jerricho:

(Looking at his finger)

Man! I knew I should have had this thing looked at.

(Turns to face Plushing, Crash, Port, and Keepa.) Here. Pull this will you?

(Raises hand, pointing towards them.)

(Plushing, Crash, Port, and Keepa back away, their hands in the air.)

(Gareth, recovered from his fall, runs up behind Jerricho and puts a sack over his outstretched hand, tying it in place with a strip of cloth.)

Gareth:

Aha! My mama always says you must wear protection these days. You never know what you might get.

Jerricho:

You mean to avoid a burning sensation?

(The wrapper around Jerricho's hand bursts into flame, falling from his hand.)

(Flaming hand)

Port:

You'll never be able to take us all. You might as well surrender now.

Jerricho:

Maybe you're right, little man. (Raises arms to the sky.);

But I've got a better idea. Ringo!

(Flame spouts from 3 sections along the wall top in Section J [Flame Spout])

(Dragon rises from above the wall in Section J, roaring, spouting fire, and flapping its wings aggressively. Dragon flames to stage Left and causes an explosion beside the tree in Section I.)

(Sound of long dragon roar)

(2 Dragon flames and a flame explosion in Section I. [Flame Spout])

 

Keepa:

That's pretty impressive. (Looks at the other humans for a moment)

Aaaaahhhh!

(Keepa sprints toward the ladder on the other side of Jerricho. Jerricho hammers Keepa on the back, sending her crashing into the wall.)

Jerricho:

Now, Ringo! Destroy these pathetic humans.

(Dragon raises head back as if to blow fire and breathes flame, inhaling deeply.)

(Sound of Dragon inhaling)

(Plushing pulls out a stuffed toy and moves to the front of the well in Section C, waving it in the air and whistling.)

Plushing:

Here boy, here boy, see the bunny?

(Dragon halts its attack and faces Plushing, its mouth open and panting in anticipation)

Plushing:

(Hurling the toy over the wall in Section J to the Dragon's Right.)

Fetch!

(Dragon follows the toy with its head, then descends behind the wall to chase after it.)

Jerricho:

(Watching the dragon leave.)

Wait 'til I tell your mother. You're grounded mister.

(To the downed dragonmen)

Arise, my dragonmen, and destroy these underdeveloped apes.

(Snaarf, Retch, Snap, Heave, and Hork arise to attack Gareth, Crash, Port, and Plushing in Sections B, C, D, and E)

(Retch moves up the stairs to section H to confront Crash.)

(Gareth and Port fight and defeat Snaarf, Heave, and Hork in Sections D and E)

(Plushing fights and defeats Snap in Section C.)

(Crash fights and defeats Retch in Section H.)

Crash:

Look guys, I beat this one! Now, who's a goofball, huh?

(Crash begins dancing on the edge of the platform)

Gareth:

Oh, no. Not the hero dance!

(Crash turns his back to the crash pad and begins wiggling his butt, causing him to fall over backwards off the tower)

{10' High Fall}

Keepa:

Are you all right, Crash?

Crash:

(Standing up from the ground)

Oh, I'm fine. I fall off stuff all the time. That's why I wear my protective armor.

(Thumps himself in the chest, causing his armor to fall to the ground in a clatter)

(Jerricho bursts into laughter, causing all defenders turn to stare at him)

Gareth:

Oh, you're still here.

(All defenders draw steel and crouch in a menacing attack manner.)

Jerricho:

Right! (To dragonmen)

Let's go boys.

(The dragonmen arise and groggily make their way towards the gate with the defenders chivvying them along.)

Jerricho:

(Pausing near the gate)

You've not seen the last of us, we'll be back and in greater numbers. (Exits)

Crash:

No problem! How's 8:30 for ya?!

Port:

Now we've got to get the gate ready for a larger attack by tonight. That's not enough time.

Plushing:

We're going to need more money to fortify the defenses.

(All cast members turn their heads slowly towards the audience, then break into a slow smile.)

Gareth:

No problem, we'll go get some. (Points towards Plushing and Port) You two stay here and prepare for the attack.

(Gareth, Keepa, and Crash dash to the back of the crowd to collect hat)

Blaze:

Send the really rich ones over here.

Plushing:

(To audience)

We've managed to turn back the dragonmen's assault this time, but be sure to return at 8:30 to see the completely different second attack where Jerry's Kids will be using fire to help in their assault on the township. Until then enjoy the rest of your day in safety here at Hawkwood.



The End of Part One




Part Two, The Ecstasy


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